I first started thinking about going back to my seminary notes not on a whim or out of despair for all I had forgotten. It started because I’ve been fighting my way out of a dark night of the soul. After a few years of rich intimacy and joyful service, I found myself tired and angry. I knew intellectually that God loves me, but He had come to feel so distant. Often—sometimes each new day—I would have to fight once more to stand and claim the place Christ had purchased for me. As I tackled one illusion after another, tugging at one part of the knot and then the next,…

I recently noted that I’ve been back in Michigan for five years, which hardly seems possible. But it only just hit me that I first started seminary over 10 years ago. 10 years! I guess that’s part of the bargain you strike when you spend five years in grad school. Anniversaries like this sneak up on you quickly. 10 years ago right now my first year was already in the rearview mirror and I was diving into summer courses. I didn’t want to take a break. I don’t remember wanting to get ahead, but I distinctly remember wanting more. It’s hard at this point not to dwell on everything that’s…