Snow Day

Nothing like a snow day (and the 4 rascals that come with it in our home) to challenge one’s plans. One of the reasons I wanted to scale back at work was to research more and write more. Stop coasting on my theological education and start pushing myself again.

But another reason was to spend more time at home, both around the home and with the kids. I have a stack of parenting books on the shelf behind me and I have plans of reading them and graduating to super-parent. But I hadn’t cracked any of them yet, so it was just an average parenting day.

Right now my parenting philosophy is something like this: don’t screw up.

There’s more to it than that, of course, but you’ll notice the not-so-faint odor of fear here. I used to use my kids as the proof of my spirituality, so every mistake they made was a reflection on me. If I’m called to ministry but my kids are animals, then they are the obstacle keeping me from God’s will.

That’s an absolutely terrible parenting approach, by the way. A great way to make everything worse for everyone. I do not recommend.

Right now I don’t have a ton of explicit goals or strategies. My approach is basically (1) try to be a virtuous person, (2) love them like crazy, and (3) try to help them rise to the challenges of the moment.

(Between the last sentence and the present one, I was called to break up a dispute in the girls’ room because my wife is trying to put our baby to sleep. We are in the thick of it, at least in the “young family” sense of the term. I’ve been awake since 4:20am. This is all very normal these days.)

I’m sure I have many weaknesses as a parent, but impatience is undoubtedly one of them. Kids appear to learn character much more slowly than they learn how to count. But in my mind, the essence of love is a commitment to the long climb. It’s not a race. The only thing that matters is making it to the top together.

Still, time does go quickly, and there is always the fear of “too late.” But I’ve never found being afraid to help a situation. So instead I try to trust it to God’s care and buy another book on the off-chance that I’ll read the right thing just in time.